New Toulouse

Apparently Doctor Avalon has a friend named Lynn Mimistrobell, who seems to know a thing or two about Jelly Roll Morton’s music. Miss Lynn led a “jazz salon” on Sunday evening, where she discussed Jelly Roll’s life and his work, and then she just played his music and let it speak for itself. The Toulouse Caboose was jumping, and lots of people came from faraway places like New Babbage, Europa, Cala Mondrago, and Winterfell. There was dancing, drinking, and tomfoolery. I wonder what that crazy doctor will pull out of her medical bag next!

Photo credit: Doctor Avalon and Nikita Weymann. Pictured left: Lynn Mimistrobell.

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Avis Picayune is an old bird, but she can still hear good music.

The Krewe du Canard will parade up and down the Missedabracket River in their first annual boat parade on Monday, February 9, at 6:00 PM SLT. The procession will convene at the Toulouse Caboose and proceed up and down the river.

After the parade, the krewe will host a grand party for all with fine food, drink, and dance at the Toulouse Caboose.

Individuals who want to decorate and ride boats in the Krewe du Canard parade should notify Doctor Avalon (phone NT-290). Those who need a boat to decorate may pick one up near the steps of the Toulouse Caboose.

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Fenimore T. Abramoff still hasn’t opened that bucket.

This old bird has seen many a Carnival season begin in this town. Barely have people recovered from Christmas when Twelfth Night, the beginning of Carnival, arrives. For some, it is when krewes of the city formally announce their plans for parties and dances. For some, it is when people meet to start said Mardi Gras krewes. And for others, it is simply an excuse to break out the Mardi Gras costumes and begin a long, hard season of feasting and festing, which of course culminates in that fat old Tuesday before Lent, also known as Mardi Gras.

This Twelfth Night, there is a special twist, and the culprit seems to be Dr. Avalon, along with a new partner in crime, Blake Palmer. Apparently that esteemed businessman has decided that his new castle, Gloryville Manor, will be the home for a Twelfth Night party, hosted by Dr. Avalon, she of the sea of liquor. Now, this old bird has survived many a party, but frankly, putting together two of the more “talented” people will either be like a chariot to Seventh Heaven or a highway to Perdition! DJ K3W, of air race fame and infamy, will be playing music ranging from electro-swing to zydeco. This old bird has survived a few Twelfth Nights, but she will be poking her big beak into this one, especially as dignitaries from throughout the Steamlands will attend. Let’s hope that Mondragon admiral Waydelich does not do too much damage, though the fact he requested the zydeco makes this bird molt a bit.

Twelfth Night Party
Monday, January 5
6:00 PM “till Blake is exhausted”
Gloryville Manor
Costumes encouraged

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Avis Picayune is a tough old bird that has survived many a Carnival.

Dr. Guenivere Avalon has been known to arrange many an event in the city, such as the Steamlands 500 air races. Now she has begun a new business enterprise in the bayou. The Toulouse Caboose is a diner in a railroad car next to the train station. The menu ranges from crawfish to more exotic fare inspired by the doctor’s travels.

“I saw an opportunity here at this superb location,” said Dr. Avalon. “I saw all of the tourists looking for ghosts in the bayou, and I realized that the bayou could use a place to socialize. Eventually the Caboose will also host concerts.”

The Caboose will kick things off with a holiday party at 6:00 PM on December 5. “I will have a holiday buffet and maybe a few other tricks. All are invited to come, of course.”

Well, this old bird will keep an eye out and maybe try to wet her beak a bit. Heaven knows that crazy doctor has some of the best medicine in town, and I mean the stuff that comes in bottles or kegs, not in pills.

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Avis Picayune is a tough old bird who is looking to get her beak wet.

On Monday the city of New Toulouse once again played host to an air race, this time dubbed the “Steamlands 500.” Doctor Avalon once again presided, but this year the city had new tricks, including a dance floor hovering over Spiegel Hall. The track was modified to show off the new surroundings, ensuring that the craft would have to travel around the whole city.

There were two categories. The “Anything Goes” category featured any craft except airships. The first heat had Aodhan, Kimika Ying, Garnet Psaltery, and Rachilde. Garnet’s craft was an unusual yellow balloon, but any doubts about its speed were banished by seeing it fly past the competition. The second heat saw Garnet facing off against Pazzo Pestana, Mari Moonbeam (whose craft looked oddly like a bacon sandwich), and Aodhan, who dropped out due to something called “lag.” Miss Psaltery won and took home the championship and the L$1,000 prize; Miss Moonbeam took home L$200 as the runner-up.

The second category, “Airships,” had a bit of controversy. Defending his championship title was the dreaded pirate admiral Callidus Waydelich. The local favorite, Komnene, our own native champion, also competed. In the first heat, Callidus and Komnene faced off against Pazzo, but the heat was overturned because of an issue at the race start. After a few technical adjustments, the heat was redone, with the same participants plus our own Mayor Godenot himself. It was a brutal heat, with Komnene chasing after the odd “chicken” ship of the Mondragon, but in the end, Waydelich won the race and the L$1,000 prize. New Toulouse’s own Komnene was the runner-up, winning L$200 in prize money and a matching L$200 from the mayor.

DJ Q provided the music, and a fun time was had by all. More photographs of the event can be seen in this album: Steamlands 500.

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Avis Picayune is a tough old bird who was watching from a high perch.

Photo credit: Nikita Weymann.

The Neptune Music Festival will take place on Thursday, September 11, aboard the riverboat Mama Cree. Three DJs and singer/guitarist WashedUp Sideways are slated to perform.

Festival organizers Miss Lei Pari (Lei’s Cafe on the Bayou) and Dr. Guenivere D’Avalon (The Cup & Harp) encourage revelers to attend in sea-themed attire. Expect to see merfolk, pirates, and other marine marvels at this September celebration of music.

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Gigi Lapin resides on Basin Street with her pet crawfish, Jimbo.

According to Dr. Guenivere D’Avalon, chests full of pirate plunder have turned up all around New Toulouse and the neighboring bayou, stirred up from the storm. “Instead of wild looting,” she said, “we can make the quest for these items a means of fun and frolic in the New Toulouse manner!” Around 6:00 PM on Friday, August 15, folks will gather at Blake’s Still House Tavern on Shotgun Row and begin to investigate likely treasure locations, though I bet it will involve liquor.

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Avis Picayune is a tough old bird who likes to perch on porches.

This old bird has seen many things, especially since that crazy Doctor Avalon came to town. People came from New Babbage and from all around New Toulouse to see her latest flight of fancy: the air festival. They danced on the roof of the hospital, with music from DJ Q. Airships, balloons, and even flying turtles and rocket suits took flight. Mayor Henri somehow hung four pylons in the sky and made the people race counter-clockwise around them. There were two categories: “Airship” and “Anything Goes.” The winners of the initial heats were as follows:

• Airship, first heat: Kimika Ying
• Airship, second heat: Komnene
• Anything Goes, first heat: Grendel
• Anything Goes, second heat: Callidus Waydelich

Miss Komnene (New Toulouse) and Miss Ying (New Babbage) faced off in the “Airship” championship round, and Miss Komnene won. The “Anything Goes” final round featured Callidus Waydelich (New Babbage) and Grendel (New Toulouse), with Mr. Waydelich somehow taking the prize despite (or because of) being drunk. Winners received L$1,000 each, and runners-up received L$200. Honorable mention goes to Lea, Arijah Ankh Khalid-Zyn, Karima Hoisan, RMarie Beedit, Cherry Larkspur, Pazzo Pestana, and Solace Fairlady.

All in all, this flight of fancy brought some life to New Toulouse.

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Avis Picayune is a tough old bird.

Photo credit: Maggie Hawksby.

Dr. Guenivere D’Avalon will host an air show in New Toulouse on Monday, June 2. Aviators and aviatrices are invited to try the treacherous course designed with the help of Mayor Henri Godenot. Racers will fly around pylons in the sky, which in initial tests proved to have deadly, difficult turns, according to Dr. Avalon.

There will be two categories of race: “Airship” and “Anything Goes.” Pilots will meet at Our Lady of Mercy Hospital, and spectators can watch the races from Kari’s Bar and Dance, conveniently located at the third turn. The festivities will run from 6:00 to 8:00 PM. For more information, phone NT-290.

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Jack Mondieu is a figment of your imagination.

Sister Butta threw a housewarming party for Trolley Trollop in the Red Drum courtyard to celebrate Trolley’s new digs at Red Drum Place. The music was provided by La Freese, and the party theme was flappers—flappers with bananas. They were there to lure the Tunnel Man. The bananas were. Well, all of us were.

And it worked! Kristine Jinx-Kristan spotted him in a cupboard under the bar. He wanted bananas and drinks. Then he climbed up in the kraken chandelier, and then he realized he was afraid of heights.

How exciting! Most of us had never seen him. He looked like a monkey, and he acted like a monkey. Could this really be Tunnel Man?

Poppy Valentine suggested, “Maybe we should put out two cages. One with a banana and one with a dark-haired girl. And see what he chooses.”

Then they all stared at me. I refused to get into a cage.

I feel sorry for the poor little fellow. Edward Ramsey has been talking about tar and feathers. Doctor Avalon wants to lobotomize him, like she wants to do with our cool reporter Jack Mondieu.

I hope I made everyone feel uncomfortable about their behavior when I asked them if this was a lynch mob. Shouldn’t everyone get a fair trial before getting lobotomized?

If the mob hands him over to Doctor Avalon, I will call the NTSPCA for sure.

So it seems the monkey, now called “Tunnel Monkey,” is still around. And someone is leaving banana peels all over town. Be careful, they are quite slippery.

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Photos courtesy of Ms. Sister Butta, Ms. Arijah Ankh Khalid-Zyn, and Ms. Liza Veliz.

Liza Veliz, being a ghost, has no fear of Tunnel Man or Beast and loves everyone and everything.