Sister Butta threw a housewarming party for Trolley Trollop in the Red Drum courtyard to celebrate Trolley’s new digs at Red Drum Place. The music was provided by La Freese, and the party theme was flappers—flappers with bananas. They were there to lure the Tunnel Man. The bananas were. Well, all of us were.
Miss Trolley Trollop, the guest of honor, wearing a barrel
And it worked! Kristine Jinx-Kristan spotted him in a cupboard under the bar. He wanted bananas and drinks. Then he climbed up in the kraken chandelier, and then he realized he was afraid of heights.
Cabinet of the Apes
How exciting! Most of us had never seen him. He looked like a monkey, and he acted like a monkey. Could this really be Tunnel Man?
Ms. Kristine Jinx-Kristan goes after the self-proclaimed Tunnel Man
Poppy Valentine suggested, “Maybe we should put out two cages. One with a banana and one with a dark-haired girl. And see what he chooses.”
Then they all stared at me. I refused to get into a cage.
Miss Poppy Valentine cuts a rug in a swell pair of saddle shoes
I feel sorry for the poor little fellow. Edward Ramsey has been talking about tar and feathers. Doctor Avalon wants to lobotomize him, like she wants to do with our cool reporter Jack Mondieu.
I hope I made everyone feel uncomfortable about their behavior when I asked them if this was a lynch mob. Shouldn’t everyone get a fair trial before getting lobotomized?
If the mob hands him over to Doctor Avalon, I will call the NTSPCA for sure.
Tunnel Monkey
So it seems the monkey, now called “Tunnel Monkey,” is still around. And someone is leaving banana peels all over town. Be careful, they are quite slippery.
Photos courtesy of Ms. Sister Butta, Ms. Arijah Ankh Khalid-Zyn, and Ms. Liza Veliz.
Liza Veliz, being a ghost, has no fear of Tunnel Man or Beast and loves everyone and everything.