Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Bits and Pieces

by on Sunday, October 23rd, 2016

A New York jury lately gave a girl damages in the amount of L$250 for a stolen kiss. In this practical age, when romance must defer to business, burglarious osculation at such rates must become automatically prohibitive.

What, by the way, has become of the old-fashioned man who made balloon ascensions?

A swan sings just once before he croaks, but Charley Murphy seems to have had his swan song made into a graphophone record.

While a stabilizer for aeroplanes is no doubt a good thing, what we really need in this country is an automobile that won’t turn turtle.

The supreme moment of satisfaction in a woman’s life is attained when she takes her corset off.

One-armed golfers can get away with it, but not one-armed fishermen, who need both arms to show how long that six-inch catfish was.

Train up a child in the way he should go and it’s doughnuts to fudge he’ll take a flyer in the opposite direction.

The nerviest man we have ever known is our butcher who raised the price of sausage because the higher price of wheat increased the cost of the stale bread he used to mix with the pork.

When a married man disappears his relatives drag the river. But the detectives look for his “lady friend.”

Ragtime horse, rubber imagination

by on Saturday, July 23rd, 2016

ragtime-athletic

Facts Not Worth Knowing

by on Wednesday, June 8th, 2016

facts not worth knowing

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux declare war

by on Sunday, May 31st, 2015

The Great War was in full force, and the German High Command was puzzled after receiving a strange telegram:

GREETINGS FROM THE PARISH OF NEW TOULOUSE STOP
THIS IS BOUDREAUX AND THIBODEAUX STOP
WE HAVE DECIDED TO DECLARE WAR ON YOU STOP
WE SUGGEST YOU SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY STOP

The Germans, not knowing what to make of this, decided to have some fun, and replied:

GREETINGS FROM GERMAN HIGH COMMAND STOP
UNDERSTAND YOU INTEND TO DECLARE WAR STOP
BE ADVISED THE NAVY OF THE HIGH SEAS HAS MORE THAN 40 CAPITAL SHIPS AND A SECRET NUMBER OF U BOATS STOP
WE WILL NOT BE SURRENDERING AT THIS TIME STOP

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were not impressed. They replied:

THIBODEAUXS COUSINS HAVE MORE PIROGUES THAN YOU HAVE U BOATS AND WE DONT KNOW WHAT CAPITAL SHIPS ARE BUT WE HAVE SOME BIGASS SHRIMP BOATS TO CHASE YOU FROM THE WATER STOP
DON’T FORGET TO WEAR YOUR LIFE PRESERVERS STOP

The Germans replied:

WE HAVE MORE THAN 100 FLYING MACHINES AND 15 ZEPPELINS STOP

The Cajuns replied:

WE HAVE GOOSE GUNS STOP
GAME WARDEN SAYS IT IS OK WITH HIM IF WE LOAD BUCKSHOT STOP

The Germans played their trump card:

LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU IN FIELD STOP
BE ADVISED WE HAVE MORE THAN 12 MILLION MEN IN THE FIELD STOP

At which time our heroes decided to quit:

WE WILL NOT BE GOING TO WAR AT THIS TIME STOP
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU STOP
THE WAR IS OFF STOP
THE SHERIFFS WIFE SAID THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL SHE WILL COOK FOR 12 MILLION PRISONERS OF WAR STOP