New Toulouse

In an article published Saturday night, we reported that Mr. Callidus Waydelich was spotted riding on a float during the Samedi Gras parade, when in actuality he was elsewhere doing something appalling with a muskrat. We regret the error.

Many thanks to Miss Natascha Randt for yet another recording of parade mayhem!

It is commanded that the residents of New Toulouse and all who visit her adhere to the following decree:

… that the residents and observers of the capital city shall embrace this evening’s riverine pageantry and put forth their great determination in attending the magnificent spectacle of maritime craft that shall sail upon the great Missedabracket River;

… that a local priest shall preside over the ceremony at its commencement for the blessing of the fleet and to ensure our entrusted fishers, trawlers, piscators, and those with rod and reel a safe and bountiful season;

… that those in gracious attendance shall show no tolerance and put forth their licentious efforts in the bountiful spirits, grandeur, and pleasures that await following the evening ceremony.

—King Blake

When I woke up this morning I could hear the party music playing, and I knew it was the day of the Samedi Gras parade in New Toulouse and I had a date with my friends in the Krewe of Bast. Oh my, was it a blast! And I didn’t have any of those blackout moments for the first time I can remember!

Photo credit: Jane Moreaux

* Click here for much, much more! *

It is commanded and ordained by royal decree:

… that the Royal Constabulary shall marshal the Grand Celebration with the customary skillfulness and with utmost forbearance;

… that the keepers of Speakeasies, Juke-Joints, Gin-Mills, Hooch Parlors, Inns & Taverns, Guest Houses, Coffee Houses, Cat Houses, Out Houses, and other establishments of ill repute shall throw open their doors to receive the good-natured celebrants and their trails of splendor;

… that the theme for this Celebration shall be “burning the ice” as we move toward our transition from the desolate winter to the brilliance of spring. Thus, the song “Burnin’ the Iceberg” performed by Jelly Roll Morton shall be played during the parade.

—King Blake

Residents of our fair parish are advised to disregard any lies and rumors regarding the emergency rescheduling of the Krewe du Canard Boat Parade. Apparently, vandals came in the night and attacked the parade floats until they didn’t.

Residents who find half-eaten, mangled pieces of parade floats on their property, on their roofs, and in their trees are welcome to pile them near the paths, throw them back into the bayou, or use them for fuel.

To give the Krewe du Canard time to rebuild, the boat parade will be postponed until Lundi Gras, February 16, at 6:00 PM SLT. People may watch the parade from a safe place, like the city wharf or the lower decks of the Mama Cree.

Fishing and chumming from—and the storage of bait on—floats is strictly prohibited.

A Public Service Announcement from
The Mayor

Henri Godenot is the mayor of New Toulouse. He oversees a tree removal service as a sideline.

The Krewe du Canard will parade up and down the Missedabracket River in their first annual boat parade on Monday, February 9, at 6:00 PM SLT. The procession will convene at the Toulouse Caboose and proceed up and down the river.

After the parade, the krewe will host a grand party for all with fine food, drink, and dance at the Toulouse Caboose.

Individuals who want to decorate and ride boats in the Krewe du Canard parade should notify Doctor Avalon (phone NT-290). Those who need a boat to decorate may pick one up near the steps of the Toulouse Caboose.

Fenimore T. Abramoff still hasn’t opened that bucket.

Revelers who worried whether the previous week’s rainstorms would spoil the madcap Krewe Bayou parade were elated to see beautiful blue skies yesterday morning. Had they looked in at the French Market, they would have seen a curious group assembling. The parade this year had beautiful and fabulously dressed marchers, fire twirlers, a horse-drawn carriage, monsters, fairies, and maidens on horseback. And the band was not just a marching brass band; it was a marching steel and chrome and brass and glass band, with strange music-making mechanical creatures and monsters bearing drums.

The maskers wound their way through the streets of the city, screaming and hooting and making a wonderful clamor. Parade watchers were showered with throws, and many would run ahead to see the parade go by again. The parade band could be heard all over the city, occasionally punctuated by the call and response, “Who is in Krewe Bayou?” “Everyone’s in Krewe Bayou!”

After the parade, everyone made their way to Laveau Square, where they made merry through the night. The party broke up with the dawn, and the revelers went home in a joyous haze, wondering what they had seen. The rumors one hears of kraken-based explosions and miraculous sheep must be discounted by the sober citizen.

Miss Shannon Spoonhunter’s photos of the event: Krewe Bayou Parade!

Fenimore T. Abramoff was nearly brained by a Krewe Bayou throw and is still reluctant to look inside the bucket.

Krewe Bayou will present the first parade of the joyous Carnival season this Saturday, January 31, starting at 1:00 PM SLT. The procession will begin at the French Market and proceed through the streets of New Toulouse, accompanied by the uncanny music of the Oh Lord What Is That marching band.

All are invited to gather, from far and near, to join in—dancing umbrellas and “squid sticks” are available at the French Market freebie stall—or just make merry, cheer on the krewe, and call for beads and other parade throws.

This reporter was unable to discover a theme for this year’s parade, but the image on the poster may offer some clue:

Information on local krewes and parades, general Carnival info, and seasonal freebies are available at “Mardi Gras Central” in the mayor’s multipurpose room at the New Toulouse Land Office. Not every current krewe is represented as yet, but the staff assured me that more will be added as information comes in.

Gigi Lapin lives in New Toulouse Bayou with her pet crawfish, Jimbo.