New Toulouse

The Mayor’s Office once again reminds the people of New Toulouse that kraken do not exist, especially not air-kraken. Neither does the mayor’s new special task force have anything to do with the accidental release of air-kraken hatchlings all over the parish.

“It certainly has nothing at all to do with kraken,” Mayor Godenot said with a chuckle. “We all know they don’t even exist.”

Civic-minded persons who would like to be part of the task force (which we have been assured is completely unrelated to any nonexistent creature) should apply at the upper floor of City Hall, just outside the back room that doesn’t contain the municipal False Memory Generator.

Gigi Lapin is a member of New Toulouse’s Tiny Social Aid & Pleasure Club, #1 Red Drum Place.

Citizens of New Toulouse, there has been a lot of rumor-mongering going on lately, and we would like to clear a few things up. There was no horrible cargo ship accident at the levee behind the Green-eyed Fairy. No “random screaming” or “squelching and eating noises” occurred. And certainly there was never an enormous “air-kraken” involved; neither were the eggs of this figment in the hold of the mythical cargo ship.

If any of the above had indeed happened, you can be certain that City Hall would have been on top of the situation, pronto, even though we don’t actually have a City Hall. That’s never stopped us before! Please ignore any glowing green balls, and have a nice day.

Henri Godenot is the mayor of New Toulouse.