New Toulouse

The Mayor’s Office once again reminds the people of New Toulouse that kraken do not exist, especially not air-kraken. Neither does the mayor’s new special task force have anything to do with the accidental release of air-kraken hatchlings all over the parish.

“It certainly has nothing at all to do with kraken,” Mayor Godenot said with a chuckle. “We all know they don’t even exist.”

Civic-minded persons who would like to be part of the task force (which we have been assured is completely unrelated to any nonexistent creature) should apply at the upper floor of City Hall, just outside the back room that doesn’t contain the municipal False Memory Generator.

Gigi Lapin is a member of New Toulouse’s Tiny Social Aid & Pleasure Club, #1 Red Drum Place.

A Notice of Service Interruption from the Department of Public Works



Beginning this Wednesday, the False Memory Generator will be shut down for maintenance.


We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. It is recommended that you not engage in any reflection or reminiscing during the outage, instead, you should probably seek new experiences and stimulation, like the kind you get from a book. A funny book. Preferably a funny book in a windowless room.



Try not to make any important, life-changing decisions until the False Memory Generator is operating again, and under no circumstances should you think about what you ate recently, the house you grew up in, or the appearance of your family members.



After maintenance and recertification, the False Memory Generator is expected to be returned to service as soon as possible.



We are sorry for any despair this may cause, and we hope that service will return as scheduled.
 
Director, New Toulouse Department of Public Works