Posts Tagged ‘accidents’

Green motormen cause smash ups

by on Sunday, September 18th, 2016

green-motormen

Horse collides with automobile

by on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

Tuesday morning a horse belonging to A. R. Arceneaux, and carrying two small boys on his back, Eldridge, the son of Mr, Arceneaux, and Travis LaTour, became frightened at the barking of a small but innocent dog, the proportions of which he was unable to determine owing to slightly impaired visionaries, and dashed through the streets at a terrible pace.

Mr. E. C. Barnett and son Frank were driving towards the French Market from the ice house when they spied the runaway and stopped with the intention of catching the horse and thereby saving the youngsters from an uncertain fate. The horse, not observing Mr. Barnett’s Ford car, dashed into it at full speed, throwing the boys promiscuously. Travis LaTour suffered several severe cuts as he passed through the wind shield, while the Arceneaux boy escaped, much frightened, but with no serious injury.

Mr. Barnett acknowledged that the fact that his car was a Ford car is the only thing that saved it from total destruction. As it was, the front of his car presented a sad appearance with the wind shield gone, the radiator caved in and useless, and the fenders somewhat dislocated. He also thinks that the town ordinance requiring autos to have good and sufficient headlights should also apply to horses.


Jack Mondieu is a figment of your imagination.

Police Blotter

by on Tuesday, April 21st, 2015

prudent-man-bank

Charges preferred against patrolman

Charges of holding an unnecessary conversation while on duty were preferred by Corporal Traub against Supernumerary Patrolman Anahtay Bonura Monday, on complaint of Inspector Palmer, who alleges Bonura was in a shoe store talking with some girls. Bonura explains the matter by saying that he was telling friends of his father’s illness.

Boy runs into automobile

A thorough investigation into the jitneymobile accident last Saturday night, when James H. Vinson, 11 years old, sustained a broken leg, has been made by Sergeant Anderson, who learned that young Vinson, on an errand, was on roller skates hanging on to a streetcar going up Bayou street. After passing Royal street, the boy let go his hold and proceeded across the street, and in doing so he came into contact with the fender of the jitneymobile, which was moving slowly in the opposite direction.

There were six passengers in the jitney, one of whom got out of the machine and helped Vinson in, and he was immediately taken to the Our Lady of Mercy infirmary. The jitney belonged to the West Side Transit Company and was in charge of William Henley, 17 years old, as chauffeur.

Police Blotter

by on Tuesday, February 24th, 2015

Mystery Digit
A severed finger found in a Gloryville alley has given the police a puzzle that is being investigated by local sleuths.

Choosy Looter
A Woodget Street couple returned home Saturday night to find their valuables piled in a heap on the parlor floor. The only thing missing was a bottle of apricot brandy.

Vehicular Adversity
An elderly lady was struck by a streetcar today on Bayou Street near Laveau Square when she walked into the street to go around a Mardi Gras float that had been left on the pavement. The woman is without injury, but the streetcar was sent to the shop for repairs.
delinquent-subscribers

Funeral party demolished by streetcar

by on Saturday, March 29th, 2014

In yet another unfortunate Desire-fueled accident, an impromptu funeral party was flattened by the streetcar. At about 10:30 Friday night, Armand was driving his handsome hearse, transporting—along with several pallbearers-cum-joyriders—a corpse, thought to be that of Miss R. Beedit. (Details on her pending undeadness pending.)

Le cadavre

Le cadavre


Miss Karima Hoisan stood on the coachman’s step of the hearse alongside Miss Maggie Hawksby. When the carriage paused by the cemetery, says Miss Hoisan, “I was talking with Doc Avalon, who was in the street offering one of her experimental therapies for our dubious corpse, when suddenly I felt a very powerful sensation in the vicinity of my backside, as though a powerful force was in fact jolting me from behind!”

In short, it’s a miracle that every party at that intersection were not sent to his or her respective end. In short order, the whole mess was consumed by a big fireball, with the terrified horse hauling the whole thing.

Hearse on fire

Hearse on fire


Since the streetcar isn’t powered by anything particularly flammable, it’s speculated that the doctor may have propagated some kind of experimental electrical current with the idea of corpse “reanimation,” when in fact the entire coach was blown up. (They say Armand makes great floats, and now it’s official: Armand can also maintain great exploding floats.)

Miraculously, all—including the infernal streetcar—were accounted for afterward. The citizens sat in Armand’s parlor, enjoying some stiff beverages whilst puffing Miss Hawksby’s oracle pipes. The circumspect group mused on the afterlife, which pretty much made Armand yawn.


Jack Mondieu, Ace Reporter, is a figment of your imagination.

A message from your city government

by on Monday, April 1st, 2013

not an air-kraken Citizens of New Toulouse, there has been a lot of rumor-mongering going on lately, and we would like to clear a few things up. There was no horrible cargo ship accident at the levee behind the Green-eyed Fairy. No “random screaming” or “squelching and eating noises” occurred. And certainly there was never an enormous “air-kraken” involved; neither were the eggs of this figment in the hold of the mythical cargo ship.

If any of the above had indeed happened, you can be certain that City Hall would have been on top of the situation, pronto, even though we don’t actually have a City Hall. That’s never stopped us before! Please ignore any glowing green balls, and have a nice day.


Henri Godenot is the mayor of New Toulouse.