New Toulouse

On Tuesday evening the New Toulouse Department of Health barred Urchin Food Franchyzez [sic] from operating in the city. A recent letter to the editor of this newspaper alerted city officials to a possible health hazard, and the New Toulouse Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals lodged a strongly worded complaint against the French Market food vendor. The city imposed a fine upon Urchin Food Franchyzez, whereupon the sole known operator disappeared from town, with the fine still unpaid.

The mayor’s office issued the following statement: “Based on resident complaints we dispatched an almost human squad to remove the nasty food stall. All food served in the market will be subjected to a cleanliness and taste test, and unsuitable food vendors will be thrown in the canal.”

Gigi Lapin is a resident of New Toulouse Bayou and an aficionado of the finest carrots.