Odd Socks
Police are advising New Toulouse residents to lock their sock drawers following a series of baffling incidents in which a single unfamiliar sock has been added to a person’s sock collection. The mystery socks are of different sizes, styles, and states of wear, and they offer no clue as to the identity of the culprit.
Mischief Maker
Last Wednesday a woman began erecting a house on a bayou property without a permit. When her ill-conceived construction sank into the swamp, she entered a home and began to move in furniture. A parish officer asked her to leave the private residence, but the woman ignored the request and was promptly escorted outside the parish and told never to return.
Travel Trouble
Several persons appeared disoriented after visiting a travel agency on Shotgun Row, complaining of flashing lights and claiming to have the abiility to turn the sky “to midnight.” Police searched the establishment but found no sign of illegal drugs or paraphernalia. It is speculated that the cause was a bad batch of egg-salad sandwiches on Mars.
Unclothed Vacationer
A Bayou resident returned home Monday to find a strange woman in her underthings posing for photographs on the bed. The homeowner offered a her a copy of the New Toulouse directory of public places, and the stranger excused herself and went out the door, without stopping to put on more clothing.
Critter Caution
Do not approach the hippopotamuses grazing on water hyacinth in the bayou. “Lake cows” may look docile, but they can easily turn violent.