New Toulouse

Pictured are Nikita Weymann, Gigi Lapin, and me. We sit among some of the prizes you can get at the Post-Storm Pirate Booty Hunt that runs till September 1 in New Toulouse.

Last night was the hunt kickoff pub crawl, in which we enjoyed rum and went around to all the places where treasure chests are to be found. So much stuff washed ashore during the last hurricane that Taloosters have made these chests to get rid of it. The pub crawl was so much fun, but today I am completely exhausted. So I went to see Niki at her house on the bayou, and Gigi joined us, and I showed them some of my treasures.

The lovely little frog on the barrel, the washed-up trellis bench, and the junk shop lawn chair are from Noctis. The vampire gentleman and the zombie head trophy are from Harley’s Hotel. The zombie is wearing a black leather beret from the Old Spanish Stable.

Dare Munro’s book Musings in the Dark is published by my very own company, Darker Shadow Productions, and you get it from the Ghost of Liza Veliz Books & Poems at La Coquette. The book chaise Niki is lounging on is from Galerie Shotgun/Argonaut Travel on Shotgun Road.The kraken-themed rugs are from Look What the Cat Dragged In, #2 Spiegel Hall. The candle bowls are from Grimalkin Workshop in the bayou. Look out for bats—just saying.

The Paradiso Firepit is from Lei’s Café on the Bayou. The Poe’s Raven plushie I’m holding is from Ravenwood Arts & Curios on Shotgun Road. Do I need to mention that it says “Nevermore” when you touch it?

I am wearing the fish hat that Francesca Alva designed and put in her chest at the Green-Eyed Fairy for scurvy knaves to find. There’s a version for tinies too! To be totally honest, I was expecting us all to turn into fish people when the flood after the hurricane took so long to dry up, so I enjoy this cute hat very much. It is hilarious to watch it cuddle people as if it wants to eat them when they sit on my lap.

You should totally do this hunt! There are so many fun treasures in those chests that you can find all over the city and bayou. If you are feeling lazy, you can always use the list of treasure spots.

The start of the pub crawl, at the Still House Tavern

The Ghost of Liza Veliz fell in love with New Toulouse at first sight. She publishes books by various authors; find them at her reading cafe on Shotgun Row.

The Green-eyed Fairy Hotel and Bar
New Toulouse

Dear Madam,

I am responding to the letter from Mrs Ethel Varnish.

I note with amusement the address from which she writes, and would suggest that the nearest she came to the Palace Hotel was when she sneaked in through the kitchens to purloin the stationery on which she wrote. She is surely more at home among the gambling dens of the Barbary Coast, where doubtless she is even now trying to win another flophouse in a poker game.

Talcum powder could, I suppose, be loosely described as a “medicinal substance,” and since it is this which makes up at least 70 percent of her product, it explains why she is able to supply the lower echelons of New Toulouse society so cheaply. My customers prefer to pay that little bit extra, knowing they will receive the highest quality and purest imported product.

Leave the fleshpots of Frisco, Miz Ethel, and return to New Toulouse to face the music (and we have plenty of music in New Toulouse).

Francesca Alva
Hotelier

Dear Madam,

I have just read the letter from Dr G Avalon and am extremely angry: it is little better than a thinly veiled attack on me. At no time did I suggest that she was responsible for turning citizens into meat pies. I tentatively identified another person as the culprit, a former boarding-house keeper.

I demand an apology and free medical treatment for life.

Yours disgustedly,

Francesca Alva
Local businesswoman

The devastation in the city showed how badly we had been affected by the storm. But spare a thought for the people of Bayou. While we paddled around our flooded streets or waded through our damaged homes and businesses, at least our lives were never in any real danger. Bayou folk lost everything. In some places the water had reached as high as the roof of their—in the main—rundown and dilapidated shacks. They had started with nothing, and by the end of the first day of the storm, they had even more of it.

Now rumors were emerging of a new horror lurking in the bayou: a creature so terrifying that people had been driven mad just thinking of it. Bayou folk tend to score rather low on the credibility scale: city-dwellers will wink and tap their heads, and mutter of “moonshine” and “inbreeding.” There was something in this tale, however, that had the ring of truth. Perhaps it was all those hapless refugees with their white faces and staring eyes: zombies in all but name. Perhaps it was because the tales of zombie infestation, dismissed with derision in the saloons and salons of the city, had turned out to be true. Or perhaps it was just a reporter’s nose for news. In any event, this reporter determined to investigate.

The ferry had been out of service since the start of the bad weather, so your intrepid reporter bravely poled her pirogue down to Bayou, not without many glances back at the city, where lights still burned in upper windows. As I steered into the flooded land I reflected that even on the sunniest day, there was something that lurked behind Bayou’s beauty: some strange, dark magic. Today, there was nothing beautiful about my surroundings—bloated animal carcasses floated past my pirogue, colliding with chairs, tables, and other items of cherished furniture, now lost forever. The thing that most struck me was the absence of noise. The swamp is usually alive with the cries of birds, frogs, and crickets, the droning of insects and the barking of dogs. The sounds of jazz and drunken singing drift from every juke joint. Now all was still; even the incessant rain and the howling wind was muffled by the live oaks and spanish moss and the dark, oily water. The splashing of my paddle seemed unnaturally loud, and I dipped it as slowly and quietly as I could.

As I moved deeper into the wilderness, I had a sense of being watched. It was not zombies—however fearsome, they are wholly lacking in subtlety and announce their presence by loud growls. It was something … alien. I took a long gulp of the holy water I had purloined from Our Lady of Bourbon Street and wished I had laced it with something stronger. I had an overwhelming desire to turn around and paddle back to the safety of New Toulouse, but they didn’t call me Fearless Frannie for nothing (NB: they have never called me Fearless Frannie, but I’m hoping this article will change that), so I forged ahead.

I was beginning to think that after all this had been a wasted journey when a vigorous stroke of my paddle propelled my craft into a clearing. A break in the clouds above allowed the dreary moon to illuminate the scene. The sight that met my eyes was too horrible to describe, but I had the presence of mind to grab my camera and take a picture of the … thing. I then knew no more until I woke up in this nice, white bed.

Judge for yourself—if you dare. The camera cannot lie.

Francesca Alva, Girl Reporter

Francesca Alva is the proprietress of the Green-eyed Fairy and strongly refutes any suggestion that she sells watered-down liquor. She is writing this from her padded cell in the New Toulouse Insane Asylum, where she is convalescing.

Dear Madam,

Doubtless many of our citizens will have noticed the modest soup kitchen nestling alongside the Tarantula Arms and providing food for the destitute of New Toulouse. The more observant among them will have seen that is is run by the Gumbo Queen Relief Society and perhaps wondered briefly about this body before returning to their usual business.

I should like to draw your readers’ attention to the Society, and in particular dispel the scurrilous rumour that it is nothing more than an excuse for clowning around and wearing silly hats. Society members are compiling a cookbook with recipes contributed by Taloosters and their friends. These will be accompanied by anecdotes and stories of life in New Toulouse. It is our intention to sell the book both in SL and on the Aethernet, first in aetheric form; then, if there is sufficient interest, as a printed book. The money thus raised will go to a charity in our Real Life mother city of New Orleans: Second Harvest Food Bank of Greater New Orleans and Acadiana. New Orleans was our Founder’s inspiration, it is our inspiration, and our aim is to give something back.

There is no charge to join the Gumbo Queen Relief Society. While you need not be much of a cook, we do require interest and enthusiasm; a certain amount of clowning around is permitted, and silly hats, while not compulsory, are strongly encouraged.

Yours, etc

Francesca Alva, Gumbo Queen and Queen of Silly Hats

Mardi Gras came early this year, but not a moment too soon for New Toulouse, already riding high on the crest of a wave. A new mayor, a new ferry, a new spirit of optimism—what better way to celebrate than a parade? And if Taloosters weren’t exactly in the mood for forty days of penance, Carnival was a great way to usher in the spring.

The ferry company had laid on extra boats to cope with the influx of folk from Bayou and all over the grid. Thankfully there was no sign in the city of the zombie activity that has plagued Bayou of late; any concerns that some of the living dead might sneak onto the ferries had been laid to rest by the stringent measures put in place by the company to avoid such a situation. A company representative declined to comment when asked if it was true that some Taloosters were unable to prove that they were alive to the captain’s satisfaction.

Mayor Henri Godenot welcomed visitors, saying, “We hope you have a wonderful time at our most important holiday, and the chapel will be open at midnight for your confessional convenience!” He subsequently invited Miss Maggie Hawksby of the Place du Voudon to say a blessing. This concluded with, “And you, Oshun, and Erzulie Dantor and Erzulie Freda, give special blessings on the community, for harmony, peace, and love. May this Mardi Gras be a season of celebration and happiness, and may the sense of joy and community continue throughout the coming year. Grant us your bendiciones, loas, santos, y orishas mios!”

Unfortunately the weather let us down, and when a warm front met a cold behind, the result was a lag system that hunkered down over the city for most of the afternoon. But nothing can dampen a Talooster’s spirit for long, and soon various impromptu parties sprang up where we were joined by out-of-towners who were determined to see the parade if it took all day. As Miss Mint so rightly said, “We’re enjoying ourselves. That’s all that matters.”

At last the lag lifted enough for the parade to begin. Sadly not all of the floats were able to take part: absent were Miss Shashi Moonwing’s Critters float and Arik Metzger’s Circus float with its tentacled creatures. The original parade order went by the board as Holocluck Henly, captain of the Bleu Krewe of Maison Bleu, rolled his cheerful Jazzy the Cat float around Laveau Square to the strains of La Chanson de Mardi Gras and to cheers from the people who had waited so long for the festivities to begin. Dancing on the float were Miss Mint and Miss Poesie Button.

After the parish police department arrested some visitors who attempted to disrupt the proceedings, the mayor’s Krewe de Zombies got under way, the mayor almost unrecognizable in his costume. Accompanying him were a bevy of beauties: Miss Karima Hoisan, who has made a welcome return to New Toulouse, Miss Soto Hax, and Miss Gardenia Malheur in a stunning showgirl costume.

Next was Krewe des Flambeaux, like Krewe de Zombies in its fourth year. The float’s creator, Jake Wikifoo, was sadly unable to be with us, and Pazzo Pestana took over the captain’s role, saying, “His [Jake’s] legacy of artistic creativity will be evident in the Flambeaux float and the many banners he produced.” Krewe members Miss Maggie Hawksby, Miss Kestrel Sorrowsong, Miss Ninah Highsmith, and Miss Francesca Alva whirled and twirled, while Tony Highsmith assisted with the driving.

Following hard on the heels of Flambeaux was the Krewe of Bast, another of the original New Toulouse krewes. Celebrating Chinese New Year as well as Mardi Gras, their display took the form of a scarlet lion operated by Jimmeh Obolensky, another wanderer returned to his hometown, and krewe captain Miss Nikita Weymann, whose long-awaited return to New Toulouse has been celebrated by all. They were accompanied by cheongsam-clad dancers Miss Nnara Fenstalker (also back in New Toulouse after a lengthy absence), Miss Zenobia Pearl, and Miss Kristine Jinx-Kristan. Regular readers of this paper will recall that it was Miss Kristine who alerted authorities to the unauthorized presence of the Urchin Franchyzes stall. It may be the Year of the Snake, but for Miss Niki and New Toulouse, it is most certainly the Year of the Cat.

Last but not least came the Krewe of the Articulate with their Theatre of Vampires float. Described by one bystander as “scary,” it was captained by Armand, who would probably revel in that comment. The participants were Miss Mirri Rosca, Daniel Molloy, Riccardo, Maharet, and Marius de Romanus. They were joined by enthusiastic out-of-towners, among them Miss Windyy Lane and Miss Jennylynn Capalini, who had both arrived well before noon and stayed to the finish, saying they were having so much fun.

When all the floats had taken a few turns around the city, it was party time in Laveau Square. Miss Carter Denja, former Algiers resident and long-time New Toulouse favourite, provided the music, having stepped in at the last moment to MC. She told this reporter that New Toulouse was the only real home she’d ever had in Second Life. Mayor Godenot congratulated Captain Pazzo Pestana and announced, “Congrats, Pazzo! Capitan de Capitans! You get the Persistence Award!” Miss Niki was elected Mardi Gras Queen by popular acclaim.

A wonderful time was had by all, and here’s to many more fun times in New Toulouse.

Francesca Alva is a resident of New Toulouse and the proprietor of the Green-Eyed Fairy.

Dear Madam,

I was interested to read Mr Habana Jazz’s report on the new Ferry. It is a much-needed addition to Transport in New Toulouse, and I am sure it will serve our Citizens for many years to come. These are stirring times for our City, and I am pleased to see that our newly elected Mayor, M. Henri Godenot, is not content merely to sit back and bask in the glow of Victory, but is striving to fulfill all his Campaign promises.

Captain Pestana must be commended both for his Industry and his skill as a Nautical Engineer. It is indeed gratifying to know that the most up-to-date and modern methods have been used in the construction of the Ferry.

However, as a Local Businesswoman of some years’ standing, I am a little disappointed that the article made no reference to the impact the new Ferry will have on trade in the area. I mention this out of a sense of concern for the wider community, without considering my own Establishment (coincidentally ideally placed at the Ferry Interchange). I would, however, respectfully point out that should passengers have to wait for a connecting Ferry, or wish to stretch their legs and partake of Refreshment before continuing their journey, the Green-Eyed Fairy (up the steps from the dock) offers a pleasant place to relax with Music and Dancing. Our beignets are renowned throughout New Toulouse, while our Gumbo is Second to None. We have a wide selection of spirituous liquors to delight the most discerning of palates. There will be a 5 percent discount on all drinks on production of a Valid Ferry Ticket. For those in need of greater relaxation there is an upstairs Smoking Room (NB: Discounted prices do not apply in the Smoking Room).

Yours, etc

Francesca Alva