Open Letter to Mayor Godenot
From the desk of TrolleyTrollop
Wednesday, March 26
Dear Mr. Mayor,
Seeing as how I am new to your fair city and seeing as how I likes to get along with just about everybody I meet just in case it might turn out that they be kinfolk, I am gonna be real tactful and not say exactly what I thought after I read your letter of 23 March that appeared in that fine example of journalistic excellence and incisive reporting, the Tattler.
Instead, I am going to take the high road and just inform you that I am now in possession of a letter from a fine, upstanding woman living in Chicago (well, we can’t hold that against her) who has reason to believe that her baby-girl niece, a Miss Otelia (Tilly) Goodnight, fell into the clutches of the Tunnel Man while she was staying in Miz Varnish’s Tarantula Arms rooming house. Mrs. Weatherby (that’s Tilly’s aunt) sent me a photograph of the poor child that like to broke my heart. Just as soon as I figure how to operate the mimeograph machine Fr. Camara’s got set up to print IOUs, over at his reading room and gaming establishment, I’m going to make sure everybody in New Toulouse gets a copy of that poor girl’s picture and a copy of her auntie’s letter.
So, Mr. Mayor, are you going to sit on the sidelines and tell the good folk of New Toulouse to hide in their houses, living in fear that Tunnel Man is going to get their women? Or are you going to help bring Tunnel Man to justice and get whatever remains of the poor dead girls he done took for his brides decently put to rest in St. Louis Cemetery?
We the people are going to be taking to the streets to make the parish safe for every young woman who calls New Toulouse home. Are you with us? Or are you not wanting to be re-elected?
Your constituent and bony-fried member of the Reputable Established Media (REM: We don’t sleep so you can and read the news with your morning coffee and beignet),
TrolleyTrollop