From: Francesca Alva, Concerned Friend
Re: Wormwood and waistlines
Dear Sir,
I am writing, not on my own behalf, but because I am concerned about a close friend. I do not want to let slip anything that could indentify her, as she is well-known in New Toulouse. Suffice it to say that her work means she is surrounded by spirituous liquors, and in particular, that Blighter of Lives, that Destroyer of Happiness, Absinthe. She is obsessed with this vile libation, and while this does not much matter in SL, her obsession has spilled over into my Real Life, that is to say, my friend’s Real Life, where, not content merely with reading about Absinthe, she has begun drinking it in secret.
What can I do to help her? It is not so much the drink itself that is ruining her, but all that sugar is bad for my her waistline.
Dear Francesca,
The bane of society is a productive drunkard. But a wide waistline is unbecoming and may lead to Rheumatism; this is well documented by physicians.
Your friend’s taste for absinthe grew out of an interest for the stuff in the ether-world, you say. What a pickle, Francesca. Unfortunately, this sort of thing is not uncommon. If only I had a buffalo nickle for every bad habit that crossed the Great Divide.
I suggest helping your friend to find a real-life sexual partner, one who is at least ten years her junior. Like absinthe, such people can come from Second Life, as it were. If history is any guide, only vigorous and frequent sexual intercourse can keep your friend’s tummy toned, because she probably won’t put down that bottle of blight till she is good and ready.
Moreover, a lover could drive her to a medical detox when that time arrives.
Good luck, good friend.
MN
Lost in the Crowd
Re: Finding friends
I have a question about friendships. If someone is shy, how does that person find meaningful friendships in Second Life?
It seems that people are in Second Life for different reasons. That is very normal and obvious, but I have found that the agenda is usually very superficial, either surrounding sex or activities outside the norm that can be uncomfortable.
I came to Second Life due to a real-life Internet friend. Once here to interact with this friend in Second Life, I found that this person wanted to role-play in roles I did not feel comfortable in. Over the years it became more uncomfortable, and it was a sport to my friend to try to get me into the situations I had hoped to avoid. I left my friend and feel bad that I had to. It affected our real-life connection as well.
I found Second Life very helpful to me in that I had somewhere beautiful to live while concentrating on graduate school. I didn’t feel alone when writing papers, because there were people around me chatting. Now I am able to focus more on the people, but I can’t seem to figure out how to connect, and I am so guarded too due to my previous experiences. How does one begin? What are normal precautions? How can I accommodate others’ views or role-play, in building friendships? These may seem to be very simple questions, but I am missing something in life in general if I can’t figure this out on my own by now.
Dear Lost in the Crowd,
People ain’t no good. It’s true 99 times out of 100. Not very encouraging, I know. But understanding this before we attempt to make new friends can help us endure the horror of disappointment that comes if they don’t do what we want ’em to.
Role-players are notorious liars. I think you are looking in the wrong place for a friend if you expect to find some in RP. These people often don’t know where to draw the line. You can never be sure what is real and what is in-character. Your experience with your friend from RL confirms this. The very best RP does not need out-of-character friendships. Passionate commitment to the craft is what separates the casual role-players from the best. And a well-written background story with limits clearly stated also reduces the potential for misunderstandings, especially among narcissists masquerading as role-players and personal friends: have we both met a few of those?
Being guarded based on past negative experiences is a good thing—it proves you’re not insane. Now, give yourself another advantage: expand your horizons. Go beyond the RP community to engage people in any other aspect of Second Life that doesn’t exist solely for the sexual activity. Even if you don’t find these other groups very interesting on the surface (a book reading circle, a charity effort, a building society), free your mind of prejudices and join one, or three. Once you are ensconced, practice making friends with those around you. There may be things you can learn from them.
MN
From: Ghostgirl
Re: Zombie love
Dear Adviser,
Am in love with a zombie looking like Michael with the hockey mask. Any suggestions? He poofs every time I get near.
Dear Ghostgirl,
Sacrifice a breedable pet, then send Michael a clear message in an IM. If that doesn’t work, visit Rhiananna the tarot card reader to ask for a reading.
MN
Maurice Nixon was deported from Prussia to the United States of America for writing a book on good manners for gentlemen. Prussian authorities alleged that the book belittled the monarch. The following year, the monarchy was abolished; Mr. Nixon is doing well.
Send your questions to Mr. Nixon care of the Tattler. (Our ether-mail link is in the sidebar, under Meta.)