Galatea Monday resides corporeally in New Toulouse with her bulldog Al Capone, loads of books, and a few spirits. She also owns and operates the Haunted Jellyfish, New Toulouse’s premiere ghost gallery and studio.
Send your questions to Miss Gala by mailing or dropping a note into the mailbox at our headquarters.
Dear Miss Gala,
I’ve been plagued by a couple of haints that are just gosh-darn tenacious. What can I do to rid myself of these unwelcome visitors?
Signed,
Sleepless on the Bayou
Dear Sleepless,
Well, first off, paint your porch ceiling blue—a nice light blue (it’ll keep the spiders away too). Then see if you can find a bottle tree for your yard.
If that all fails, you can always hire a spiritual counselor (like yours truly) to help get rid of the really stubborn ones.
Through the veil,
Miss Gala
Dear Miss Gala,
What on earth am I gonna do with all of this chicken andouille??
Signed,
No longer a vegetarian
Dear NoLo,
Here’s what everyone should do with at least a pound of chicken andouille:
1 pound andouille sausage, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices
1/2 cup peanut oil
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
1 red bell pepper, coarsely chopped
1 cup thinly sliced celery
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 teaspoons Cajun seasoning
48 ounces chicken broth
2 pounds skinned and boned chicken breasts
As many roasted potatoes as you can handle (Mmmm!)
Cook sausage until browned; remove from pan, drain, and pat dry with paper towels. Heat oil in a stainless-steel Dutch oven over medium heat; gradually whisk in flour, and cook, whisking constantly, 18 to 20 minutes or until flour is caramel-colored. Reduce heat to low, and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture is smooth and the color of milk chocolate. Increase heat to medium. Stir in onion, bell pepper, celery, and garlic; if you like, add some ground red pepper or even hot paprika. Cook, stirring constantly, for about 3 minutes. Stir in chicken broth; add chicken and sausage. Increase heat to medium-high and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally, 1 hour and 30 minutes to 1 hour and 40 minutes or until chicken is done. Shred chicken into large pieces using a pair of forks. Place roasted potatoes in serving bowls. Spoon gumbo over potatoes. Serve immediately with desired toppings like bacon, parsley, and definitely hot sauce. Enjoy!
In yumminess,
Miss Gala
Dear Miss Gala,
What do you consider a good death?
Signed,
The Grim Reaper
Dear Grim,
An unsuccessful one.
Thanks for asking,
Miss Gala
Dear Miss Gala,
Recently, I’ve noticed some unusual goings-on in my home. Doors slam, lights flicker, candles glow blue, and last night I woke up when my bed started shaking. Also, my cat is constantly staring up the stairs or inside the closet or under my bed! She’ll sit there for hours sometimes, just staring, and once in a while her tail gets really fat, and she runs like a cartoon! I’m not sure what is going on or what I should do.
Any advice would be helpful.
Signed,
Shaken not Stirred
Mon cher ami,
It sounds like your cat has a friend of either the physical or metaphysical kind. There may be a possum or something loose in your home, or you may have become the unwitting host of a ghostie. Do you notice cold spots or detect phantom odors (like old flowers or pipe smoke with no known physical source)?
The next time your cat is staring, crouch down to see from her perspective, and listen carefully. If you don’t see anything, break out the ouija board and invite a few friends over to try to learn who’s been shaking your bed and why.
Let me know what you find.
Chaleureusement,
Miss Gala