New Toulouse

“Pet of the Week” is over for now. Many thanks to all who sent in pet photographs!

On the surface, the most recent theme party at Eloquent Elysium was a stunningly elegant affair. But rumors have been circulating that hostess Bianca Solderini—or at least some of her guests—used the occasion as a forum for civil disobedience.

As usual, Miss Solderini put together a stunning presentation, transforming the roof of the Elysium into a charming garden, where New Toulouse residents and guests danced in elegant attire and sipped expensive tea with their pinkies extended.

Karima Hoisan, who was relaxing in the garden after another successful event at her own establishment, Kari’s Bar and Dance, said, “Everyone knows that’s the whole point of a high tea—to admire everyone’s outfits and gossip about the people who aren’t there.”

One such absence was that of Mayor Henri Godenot, who wrote a scathing letter to the editor after last week’s party. Mayor Godenot accused the Elysium of violating the parish’s public nudity ordinances after hearing that the previous week’s soiree involved a hot tub on the roof of the bar, and he berated the Tattler for not publishing any photos of the event. (Mayor Godenot clearly has never seen what happens to a camera lens when it gets too close to a hot tub … or to certain city officials in bathing costume.)

Shockingly, some sources say violations of the nudity ordinance were committed at the tea in protest of the mayor’s accusations. But no photographic evidence has surfaced, and one person who wished to remain unnamed said the rumor was started by someone who “drinks too much absinthe, even for New Toulouse.”

But at least one act of defiance was caught on camera: a guest at the party was wearing a backless gown, revealing a provocative tattoo of a creature that the mayor has insisted does not exist.

The theme for Eloquent Elysium’s next party at 4:00 PM Sunday is “Arabian Nights.” There is no word so far on whether any unofficial goading of the mayor will be part of the agenda.

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Jane Moreaux keeps all four eyes on New Toulouse. Photos courtesy of Miss Maggie Hawksby.

In yet another unfortunate Desire-fueled accident, an impromptu funeral party was flattened by the streetcar. At about 10:30 Friday night, Armand was driving his handsome hearse, transporting—along with several pallbearers-cum-joyriders—a corpse, thought to be that of Miss R. Beedit. (Details on her pending undeadness pending.)

Miss Karima Hoisan stood on the coachman’s step of the hearse alongside Miss Maggie Hawksby. When the carriage paused by the cemetery, says Miss Hoisan, “I was talking with Doc Avalon, who was in the street offering one of her experimental therapies for our dubious corpse, when suddenly I felt a very powerful sensation in the vicinity of my backside, as though a powerful force was in fact jolting me from behind!”

In short, it’s a miracle that every party at that intersection were not sent to his or her respective end. In short order, the whole mess was consumed by a big fireball, with the terrified horse hauling the whole thing.

Since the streetcar isn’t powered by anything particularly flammable, it’s speculated that the doctor may have propagated some kind of experimental electrical current with the idea of corpse “reanimation,” when in fact the entire coach was blown up. (They say Armand makes great floats, and now it’s official: Armand can also maintain great exploding floats.)

Miraculously, all—including the infernal streetcar—were accounted for afterward. The citizens sat in Armand’s parlor, enjoying some stiff beverages whilst puffing Miss Hawksby’s oracle pipes. The circumspect group mused on the afterlife, which pretty much made Armand yawn.

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Jack Mondieu, Ace Reporter, is a figment of your imagination.

On Lundi Gras (the Monday before Mardi Gras), Miss Maggie Hawksby led a voodoo procession around the waterways of New Toulouse, asking the spirits to bless the waters and the community. Convening at House of the Spirits, the procession went to Morts Joyeux, the Ursulines Walk, and the ferry docks on the Bayou side. Many of the participants wore white garments, but as it grew, the event attracted residents in street clothes and Mardi Gras attire.

Traditionally, the blessing includes throwing a gold cross into the waters and releasing doves. The prayer ended, “Bestow special blessings on our community, for harmony, peace, and love. May this Mardi Gras be a season of celebration and happiness, and may the sense of joy and fellowship continue throughout the coming year. Grant us your blessings. ¡Ashé !”

Afterward, the procession boarded the new ferry, went around the bayou, and ended up at the mayor’s houseboat in the heart of the bayou, where a special blessing was asked. Conveniently, Eloquent Elysium is next door, and all of that blessing makes a person thirsty.

Additional photographs may be viewed here:
• Jane’s Flickr set
• Pazzo’s Flickr set

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Jane Moreaux is good at reporting events that other people plan.