Posts Tagged ‘fires’

Police Blotter

by on Sunday, February 21st, 2016

Discovering the home of John Steeley, 44 Rossignol street, afire at 5:30 this morning, Patrolman Nix, with the assistance of a small newsboy, broke into the dwelling and had half the furniture removed before firemen arrived. According to the officer’s report, he and the newsboy even removed a piano from the dwelling. No one was at home when the fire broke out. Firemen confined the blaze to the upper floor.

velva-syrupLove of fine silks led to the arrest in New Toulouse yesterday of Mrs. Anolda Quigley and Mrs. Alice Meriweather, two waitresses from Plaquemines Parish, on petit larceny charges. The women are said to have come to New Toulouse on a shopping trip, and while looking at goods in one of the stores, to have made away with several dollars’ worth of expensive fabrics. Inspector Palmer is holding the trunks of both women, pending word from local merchants.

Police Blotter

by on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

A STING OPERATION uncovered a brisk heroin trade occurring at the clam stall at Flanagan’s Fun Fair. One woman who ran the clam stall has been arrested on drug charges. Any “hophead” seeking the potent snuff was able, with the right password and the right amount of cash, to receive it concealed within a serving of clams.

A CONFLAGRATION on the top floor of the No. 23 Firehouse late on Tuesday was brought under control quickly. It is believed that anarchists armed with an infernal device were responsible.

A CARNIVAL WORKER was arrested for operating the “swing boats” ride while intoxicated.

Funeral party demolished by streetcar

by on Saturday, March 29th, 2014

In yet another unfortunate Desire-fueled accident, an impromptu funeral party was flattened by the streetcar. At about 10:30 Friday night, Armand was driving his handsome hearse, transporting—along with several pallbearers-cum-joyriders—a corpse, thought to be that of Miss R. Beedit. (Details on her pending undeadness pending.)

Le cadavre

Le cadavre


Miss Karima Hoisan stood on the coachman’s step of the hearse alongside Miss Maggie Hawksby. When the carriage paused by the cemetery, says Miss Hoisan, “I was talking with Doc Avalon, who was in the street offering one of her experimental therapies for our dubious corpse, when suddenly I felt a very powerful sensation in the vicinity of my backside, as though a powerful force was in fact jolting me from behind!”

In short, it’s a miracle that every party at that intersection were not sent to his or her respective end. In short order, the whole mess was consumed by a big fireball, with the terrified horse hauling the whole thing.

Hearse on fire

Hearse on fire


Since the streetcar isn’t powered by anything particularly flammable, it’s speculated that the doctor may have propagated some kind of experimental electrical current with the idea of corpse “reanimation,” when in fact the entire coach was blown up. (They say Armand makes great floats, and now it’s official: Armand can also maintain great exploding floats.)

Miraculously, all—including the infernal streetcar—were accounted for afterward. The citizens sat in Armand’s parlor, enjoying some stiff beverages whilst puffing Miss Hawksby’s oracle pipes. The circumspect group mused on the afterlife, which pretty much made Armand yawn.


Jack Mondieu, Ace Reporter, is a figment of your imagination.