New Toulouse

The Volstead Act went into effect on January 17, but temperance advocates complain that local enforcement of the alcoholic beverage ban has been “lackadaisical.” Meanwhile, local Carnival festivities are at an all-time low, but an anti-Prohibition parade will take place this weekend. So what does Prohibition mean for New Toulouse?

When we tracked him down at the Green-Eyed Fairy (a local tavern), police spokesman Brendan Bacon explained that local enforcement efforts were on hold because Mayor Henri Godenot is treating the responsible federal agents to a fishing trip. According to Patrolman Bacon, compliance with the law during Carnival “won’t matter much anyway” since “the feds are all tied up” (presumably figuratively). They are expected to be released on Ash Wednesday.

Francesca Alva, the owner of the Green-Eyed Fairy, seemed unfazed by the new law. “As far as I can see, Prohibition is a Yankee notion brought in to encourage people to drink more. Here in New Toulouse, we don’t have that problem. Furthermore, we do all our business with independent local suppliers. I don’t foresee any problems as long as the mayor keeps on greasing the palms of … I mean, liaising with the federal authorities.”

Mrs. Jedidiah Slump, speaking for the Ladies’ Temperance Association, argued that families continue to be “ravaged by the demon drink.” She called upon city officials to expedite local enforcement efforts and called upon Jed to get home straight after work or he could get his own damn supper.

A City Hall official, speaking anonymously because he was not authorized to give comment, explained that since New Toulouse has “a largely booze-based economy, we’re going easy on businesses” during this time of transition. He expects that Bayou will be largely exempt from scrutiny unless the feds hire some swamp-canny Cajuns.

This Saturday, February 15, at 12:00 noon SLT, Krewe Bayou kicks off another raucous walking parade downtown, the theme of which is “To Hell With Prohibition.” February 15 is also National Hippo Day, so it’s reasonable to expect some “lake cow” presence. The parade begins at the French Market.

Jack Mondieu nominates Boudreaux and Thibodeaux to root out those Bayou moonshine stills.

• Krewe Bayou Flavor Parade
• Saturday, January 30, 1:00 PM
• Starting point: Bayou Street and Shotgun Row

Featuring the Oh Lord What Is That marching band. This year’s theme is food, and all are invited to dress up in food-related costumes and join the parade. “Everyone’s in Krewe Bayou!”

• Zombies’ Surprise Ball
• Saturday, January 30, 2:00 PM
• Kari’s Bar and Dance, #1 Bayou Street

Hosted by the Ancient and Secret and Arcane Krewe des Zombies. Expect zydeco tunes on the phonograph, followed by a live performance by guitarist and vocalist Hogman.

• Dans la Mer
• Sunday, January 31, 1:00 PM
• Spiegel Hall ballroom (third floor)

The Krewe of Bast presents an undersea-themed masquerade ball featuring the piano stylings of New Toulouse’s own Zachh Cale. Revelers are encouraged to attend in “fishy fancy dress.”

The freak weather conditions that hit New Toulouse last Sunday left most people unscathed. One citizen, however, is still counting the cost. Miss Frannie of the Green-Eyed Fairy had to cancel her swamp stomp with DJ Tabasco. “I’ve had to replace all my stock,” she told me. This reporter probed further and found that the losses were caused not by the weather, but instead by the owner drinking herself into a stupor to ease the pain she felt.

Luckily Taloosters are made of stern stuff, and the event is on again this Sunday between 12:00 noon and 2:00 PM. Miss Frannie was reminded that she is captain of Krewe Bayou, although she told me she has no recollection of being appointed or volunteering. It was decided to make the postponed event a Krewe Bayou Carnival kick-off event. Mardi Gras colors and mayhem are encouraged.

The Green-Eyed Fairy is located at #2 Bayou Street.

Lou Carew loves his Mardi Gras krewe.

Revelers who worried whether the previous week’s rainstorms would spoil the madcap Krewe Bayou parade were elated to see beautiful blue skies yesterday morning. Had they looked in at the French Market, they would have seen a curious group assembling. The parade this year had beautiful and fabulously dressed marchers, fire twirlers, a horse-drawn carriage, monsters, fairies, and maidens on horseback. And the band was not just a marching brass band; it was a marching steel and chrome and brass and glass band, with strange music-making mechanical creatures and monsters bearing drums.

The maskers wound their way through the streets of the city, screaming and hooting and making a wonderful clamor. Parade watchers were showered with throws, and many would run ahead to see the parade go by again. The parade band could be heard all over the city, occasionally punctuated by the call and response, “Who is in Krewe Bayou?” “Everyone’s in Krewe Bayou!”

After the parade, everyone made their way to Laveau Square, where they made merry through the night. The party broke up with the dawn, and the revelers went home in a joyous haze, wondering what they had seen. The rumors one hears of kraken-based explosions and miraculous sheep must be discounted by the sober citizen.

Miss Shannon Spoonhunter’s photos of the event: Krewe Bayou Parade!

Fenimore T. Abramoff was nearly brained by a Krewe Bayou throw and is still reluctant to look inside the bucket.

Krewe Bayou will present the first parade of the joyous Carnival season this Saturday, January 31, starting at 1:00 PM SLT. The procession will begin at the French Market and proceed through the streets of New Toulouse, accompanied by the uncanny music of the Oh Lord What Is That marching band.

All are invited to gather, from far and near, to join in—dancing umbrellas and “squid sticks” are available at the French Market freebie stall—or just make merry, cheer on the krewe, and call for beads and other parade throws.

This reporter was unable to discover a theme for this year’s parade, but the image on the poster may offer some clue:

Information on local krewes and parades, general Carnival info, and seasonal freebies are available at “Mardi Gras Central” in the mayor’s multipurpose room at the New Toulouse Land Office. Not every current krewe is represented as yet, but the staff assured me that more will be added as information comes in.

Gigi Lapin lives in New Toulouse Bayou with her pet crawfish, Jimbo.

Dear Madam,

As I was wandering pensively through the cemetery, waiting for the moon to rise, I heard distant sounds of revelry. On the rooftops above Basin Street I beheld a motley, masked crew. They were dancing to the most marvelous Cajun music, provided by a gentleman I later learned was called DJ Tabasco.

Sadly I was called to Bayou on pressing business so could not join the revelers, but there is another chance to enjoy the fun, as Krewe Bayou asked Mr. Tabasco back for a repeat performance: this time at the Green-Eyed Fairy. I spoke to Miss Frannie, who runs this establishment, and she said, “We’ll be getting hot, saucy, and green at the Green-Eyed Fairy with DJ Tabasco on Sunday, 25 January 2015 at 12.00 noon, and we’ll party like it’s 1915!”

She then added, most cryptically, “Be there or be ketchup!”

Regrettably I shall again be absent on business, but I urge my fellow-citzens not to miss the party.

Yours, etc.
Lou Carew

The Krewe Bayou rooftop ball, Gloryville, this past Sunday

NW: Well, there may or may not be actual kraken in the gumbo.
HG: And then there’s always the question, after you’ve fed five hundred people, what do you do with the rest of the kraken?
ZZ: Open a restaurant chain selling kraken-based products?

(Baby kraken friends are distributed.)
SH: Ooo. Octopus child. This is going to be hard to explain away.
KK: Thanks for taking them off my hands! They have been keeping me up all night!

NW: 39-inch-tall Charles Sherwood was better known by what name?
FA: Lofty.

AT: Can’t believe how strong these buildings are, strong enough for twenty dancing people.
NW: Hey, this building has been through hurricanes, and the Fat Tony incident.
LV: Fat Tony?
AT: Oh, please tell.
NW: We must get on with the trivia, she said, covering for the fact that she just now made up Fat Tony.

NW: What is a baby oyster called?
LV: Glen.

NW: What does a grabatologist collect?
LV: Crabs?
IT: Derrieres?
TF: Garbage.
SH: Perverts?
HP: Grabby hands!
FA: Tape recordings.
NW: All good answers, all completely wrong!
SH: Which one was less wrong?

This morning I woke up to a piece of paper hitting me in the face. I’m still staying at the rooftop hotel, so I suppose that is not the worst thing that could have hit me. Groggily I peered at the page: it was a handbill advertising a maybe-party this Sunday, hosted by Krewe Bayou.

Last year around this time, I asked the shadowy figure calling herself Queen Notakraken how a person might join the krewe, if he were so inclined. You are already in Krewe Bayou, she told me. Everyone is in Krewe Bayou, whether they know it or not.

You would think that as a member of the krewe, I would have heard about this party earlier, or whether we’ll parade, or what. You would think that, and you would be wrong.

So all I have to go on are whispers, and this poster, and what looks to be party decorations on the roof next door. They say that Ghosty Kips had to cancel on spinning the platters because of a family matter, and that the mysterious “DJ Tabasco” stepped in handily to save the day with his collection of Cajun, zydeco, and swamp pop recordings. (They don’t say what “swamp pop” is, but I don’t think it has anything to do with Okra-Cola.) They say that there will be plenty of beer, which will come in handy in case of fire. They murmur of a trivia contest with “fabulous prizes.” And I overheard a rumor to the effect that “everyone gets a baby kraken friend.”

Now you know everything I do.

Jack Mondieu, Ace Reporter, is often perplexed.

Krewe Bayou took the Mama Cree on a trip around the world Saturday without leaving the Missedabracket. The krewe rented the riverboat for a Gumbo Society fundraiser with music, dancing, trivia, prizes, and more.

DJ Carter Denja kept the crowd on its feet with a set composed of international covers of well-known tunes—the more obscure, the better. Miss Nikita Weymann presided over a spring-themed trivia contest that covered topics from fine art to animal anatomy (really), with cash prizes awarded to everyone who correctly answered a question.

Mama herself got dressed up for the party—members of the krewe decorated the boat with flowers, lanterns, lights, and banners. There was a full bar on the top deck, and a buffet table with delicious shrimp gumbo in honor of the Gumbo Society. 

The night ended with a spectacular fireworks display provided by Miss Karima Hoisan, and the last revelers were seen shooting flares off the deck long after the party had ended.

The final tally raised for the Gumbo Society is not complete—the riverboat decorations and the donation kiosk on the middle deck will be up all week for residents who missed the festivities and would like to contribute. Gumbo Society donations benefit the RL Second Harvest Food Bank of New Orleans. For more information, visit the Second Harvest website.

Krewe Bayou will be hosting more events between now and next year’s Mardi Gras parade. Other krewes interested in renting the Mama Cree for parties, fundraisers, recruiting drives, or other shenanigans can contact Yvonne Follet at .

 
Photos courtesy of Miss Maggie Hawksby.

Jane Moreaux keeps all four eyes on New Toulouse.