What’s Cookin’

by Nikita Weymann on March 6th, 2014

whats-cookin

Now and again on an especially balmy night, we indulge in wistful thoughts of the old Sugar Mill out there in Bayou. So many memories, but sometimes memories are even better without soaked feet.

Back then, everyone thought it was such a good idea to “modernize.” “Oh yes, doll, you can throw parties here in the swamp—everyone will slog over in their finery.” But to citify a sugar mill in a swamp is akin to revamping a tallow buggy floating in tapioca. If you think bringing plaster to a swamp is a good idea, I have some sixty-pound yoga balls to sell you.

In desperate social measures you’d row over to the city with your nice shoes stowed in your satchel for last-minute burnishing on dry land. The ladies would be waiting at some gazebo or another, filled with birdsong and chatter. If we were all lucky, the pralines would have survived the trip, not melting, getting too greasy, or mysteriously disappearing.

These are especially good because the nutritional value might balance out the sugar. (Like Pazzo once said while floating through town in his merman costume, “My trident offsets my tiara.”)

Vegan Salted Caramel Pralines

2 cups whole pecans
1 cup almond butter
1 1/4 cups pure maple syrup (use half this amount for a less gooey, more savory praline—it tastes fine)
3/4 cup solid coconut oil
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt

Lay out the pecans in a single layer on a cookie sheet. Toast them in a 350°F oven for 10 minutes. Keep an eye on those pecans! They can burn quickly.

Put all ingredients for the salted caramel into a food processor or a high-speed blender. Blend on high for approximately 2 minutes, scraping down the sides periodically. (Blending this long will create a somewhat sticky, caramel-like sauce). You must beat the caramel for at least two minutes. If all you have is a bowl and a wooden spoon, your mileage may vary.

So now you have your nice caramel, and to that you want to add your pecans. Stir it all together or mash it with your hands.

Lay the resulting blobs on waxed paper—you want about two tablespoons each or maybe eight nuts’ worth, in a fairly compact disk.

Chill the pralines overnight in an airtight container between the sheets of waxed paper.

They are tasty!

Caramel sauce adapted from bakerbettie.com.


Once a Bayou bait shop owner serving the best leeches and pie, these days Miss RMarie Beedit can be found in the St. Louis Cemetery, looking for night crawlers and shiny pennies.

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