Posts Tagged ‘shrimp’

MOLLUSC EDITION

by on Thursday, August 7th, 2014

FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK

The Tattler printing press is beset with a post-flood infestation of large snails, and the print room staff are busy round the clock refilling dishes with beer. The snails seem to have an unusually high tolerance for alcohol, and we may need to resort to spirits—send supplies if you can!

Artist's rendition

Artist’s rendition

This special broadsheet edition of the Tattler was made possible by Mr. Lawrence James of James Ads & Signs, who very kindly donated the use of his own press.


CLASSIFIEDS

FOR SALE—20 art canvases with muddled and vague images on them. First and final sale, from the just opened, and now closed, “Plein Air Watercolor Gallery of New Toulouse.” Author offers this wisdom, hard earned: read the weather report *before* starting a new venture. Signed, Washed Out.

LOST—Beloved pet crawfish, answers to “Jimbo,” very affectionate. Contact Gigi Lapin c/o Tattler.

LOST—Grandpa Moonbeam, in an oak casket with brass handles, last seen headed NE. Buy him a drink and send him home if found.


LETTERS

Dear Sir,

Now that you’ve cleaned up the flood, I’m wondering when the blight will be cleared. 

a) tree branches around town
b) roof off the travel agency – not that I have ever liked the travel agency much. Too many weeds!!
c) fatheads and grass shrimp still squirming around in the cemetery
d) general mildew smell

Please provide an update on these items as soon as possible.

Miss Penny
A Visitor

Photo credit: Henri Godenot

Photo credit: Henri Godenot


Dear Sirs,

Please provide our criteria of what fits into the “weed” family. 

Also, please provide a ledger sheet with New Toulouse’s tourist revenue and GNP (I know we’re not a nation, but whatever the equivalent would be). I need to know these things right away.

And I am in the market for a cheap backhoe.

Thanks,

RMarie Beedit
A Denizen


ASK MISS GALA

By Galatea Monday

The storm washed up all sorts of unexpected visitors in New Toulouse, but one of the most mouthwatering and terrifying was certainly the kraken! So for those of you who were lucky enough to cut a piece of this monster for your own, here are some recipes for your dining pleasure.

GARLIC & MAYO CALAMARI
10 oz. peanut oil (or other oil with a high smoke point!)
1 lb. squid (tubes and tentacles)
2 tablespoons corn flour
4 tablespoons semolina
2 teaspoons Old Bay seasoning (or use 1 teaspoon salt & 1 teaspoon paprika)

For the garlic mayonnaise:
1/2 clove garlic (or more, if you love it; less, if you’re a vampire!)
3/4 cup mayonnaise

Heat the oil in a small saucepan, and cut the squid into half-inch rings. Put the cornflour, semolina, and seasoning into a plastic freezer bag. Add the squid rings and tentacles and toss to coat. When the oil is hot enough, fry the squid in small batches to get the best crunch. Fry until golden (fairly quick). Grate or crush the garlic into the mayonnaise, stir to mix, and then serve with the fried squid.

Image-that-is-certainly-not-a-photograph by Galatea Monday

Image-that-is-certainly-not-a-photograph by Galatea Monday


S&P CALAMARI
About 2 cups peanut oil (or other oil with a high smoke point), or enough to come about 1/2-inch up in a frying pan
2 tablespoons sea salt
2 tablespoons black peppercorns
1/3 cup corn flour
1 lb. baby squid (cut into rings, tentacles left unchopped)
Lemons (for to squeeze)

Put the oil in a frying pan over a high heat. Bruise the salt and peppercorns in a mortar and pestle, and combine this mixture in a freezer bag with the cornflour, adding the squid and tossing to coat well but not heavily. When the oil’s very hot, fry the squid in small batches, and cook each batch briefly until just crisp on the outside and still sweet and tender inside. Remove to plates lined with paper towels. After several seconds, remove the greasy towel, squeeze lemons over them, and eat them fast!

What’s Cookin’

by on Monday, October 28th, 2013

whats-cookin

Shrimp-Stuffed Mushrooms

This snack is a true delicacy, especially since mushrooms are recently so hard to come by.

Make sure to use brown mushrooms for this dish. As you know, certain types of mushroom are highly toxic, and unless you are an expert at knowing which of the more exotic fungi can be eaten, steer clear! Recently, a lot of mushroom hunters have been seen with bags full of glowing green mushrooms. While we’ve heard reports of these being safe to eat, observe the above tenet if you really want to be safe.

12 medium or large mushrooms
1/2 lb. bay shrimp, cooked and diced (not the big shrimp with the tentacles out in Bayou)
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 to 4 cloves garlic
1/3 cup chopped onion
Italian parsley
2/3 cup fresh, soft breadcrumbs
1 tablespoon grated lemon zest
2 teaspoons lemon juice
salt and pepper
Tabasco (optional)

Examine the mushrooms for signs of glow. Remove the stems and set aside. Clean the mushrooms with a proper mushroom brush to remove all dirt and sediment. We all know where those things like to grow!

Lightly brush them with olive oil and place them cap-down in a 9×13 baking dish.

Sauté the garlic and onion in 1 tablespoon oil for about 5 minutes, until golden.

Put breadcrumbs, lemon zest, parsley, and mayonnaise into a medium-sized bowl and mix in the shrimp and the garlic/onion mixture. Salt and pepper to taste. Add a dash of Tabasco if desired!

Heap the breadcrumb mixture into the mushroom caps until all are full. It’s okay if some spills over. After baking, this makes tasty browned crumbles to spoon on top of the stuffed mushrooms.

Bake the stuffed mushrooms at 350°F for 25-30 minutes, until cooked through and golden.

Examine the mushrooms again for glow. Place on a platter as hors d’oeuvres, or put a few atop salad greens with a drizzle of lemon dressing as a main dish.

Should you start to feel strange powers or notice glow after your shrimp-stuffed mushrooms, do not swim in the river. Leave town immediately, and go to the doctor in Houston or San Francisco.


Once a Bayou bait shop owner serving the best leeches and pie, these days Miss RMarie Beedit can be found in the St. Louis Cemetery, looking for night crawlers and shiny pennies.