New Toulouse

The staff of Lin Laundry would like you to know that if you still haven’t gotten your Samedi Gras finery cleaned and pressed, you have until noon today to drop it off.

Miette Lin, owner of the business at 6 Shotgun Row, added that anyone who darkens her doorstep between 11:30 a.m. and noon will get charged double.

“Every year, we have people who come in the day before the parade with pieces of costumes that are not fit to wear in public,” Miss Lin explained. “Then we stay up all night cleaning them, and either miss the parade or can’t enjoy the parties. This year, I want to make sure my employees have the chance to get as drunk and disorderly as everyone else in town.”

Priscilla Rousseau and Lucy Chen, employees of Lin Laundry, both expressed relief at the idea of a deadline.

“You should see what shows up here five minutes before closing time most years,” Miss Rousseau said. “Caked in last year’s hangover.”

“That was that reporter,” Mrs. Chen corrected her, but did not elaborate which one. (Author’s note: It wasn’t me.)

“We want to remind anyone who finds himself or herself in this predicament that it’s entirely preventable. We have an Ash Wednesday special every year,” Miss Lin added. “Half price to wash the regrets right out of your costume if you drop it off on your way to do penance, no questions asked.”

Joe LaSalle is looking forward to Samedi Gras and creating some reasons to repent.

Artist’s conception of Goat Gang leader and his moll

That’s the advice of Miss Miette Lin, the proprietor of Lin Laundry, who says that she returned from making a delivery to find a shaggy intruder atop her nightstand. After the interloper departed, she noticed that two pairs of red long johns were missing.

A spokesman for the New Toulouse Street Railway Company says that passengers should expect streetcar delays, “due to random appearances of groups of Goats at intersections.”

Police warn that the gang members are dangerous. “The Goats wear distinctive headgear shaped like horns,” said Inspector Palmer. “If you see one, do not approach him, but instead telephone us for help.”

One man sustained minor bruising during an altercation with a Goat and even spilled his coffee. “Looka dat bruise,” said Mr. Boudreaux. “Dat ain’t no leetle bruise.”

Gigi Lapin lives in New Toulouse Bayou with her pet crawfish, Jimbo.