New Toulouse

Charges preferred against patrolman

Charges of holding an unnecessary conversation while on duty were preferred by Corporal Traub against Supernumerary Patrolman Anahtay Bonura Monday, on complaint of Inspector Palmer, who alleges Bonura was in a shoe store talking with some girls. Bonura explains the matter by saying that he was telling friends of his father’s illness.

Boy runs into automobile

A thorough investigation into the jitneymobile accident last Saturday night, when James H. Vinson, 11 years old, sustained a broken leg, has been made by Sergeant Anderson, who learned that young Vinson, on an errand, was on roller skates hanging on to a streetcar going up Bayou street. After passing Royal street, the boy let go his hold and proceeded across the street, and in doing so he came into contact with the fender of the jitneymobile, which was moving slowly in the opposite direction.

There were six passengers in the jitney, one of whom got out of the machine and helped Vinson in, and he was immediately taken to the Our Lady of Mercy infirmary. The jitney belonged to the West Side Transit Company and was in charge of William Henley, 17 years old, as chauffeur.

Artist’s conception of Goat Gang leader and his moll

That’s the advice of Miss Miette Lin, the proprietor of Lin Laundry, who says that she returned from making a delivery to find a shaggy intruder atop her nightstand. After the interloper departed, she noticed that two pairs of red long johns were missing.

A spokesman for the New Toulouse Street Railway Company says that passengers should expect streetcar delays, “due to random appearances of groups of Goats at intersections.”

Police warn that the gang members are dangerous. “The Goats wear distinctive headgear shaped like horns,” said Inspector Palmer. “If you see one, do not approach him, but instead telephone us for help.”

One man sustained minor bruising during an altercation with a Goat and even spilled his coffee. “Looka dat bruise,” said Mr. Boudreaux. “Dat ain’t no leetle bruise.”

Gigi Lapin lives in New Toulouse Bayou with her pet crawfish, Jimbo.

When five residents of New Babbage, attending court here, procured passes and went to visit the New Toulouse parish police department, Constable Erdferkel, the turnkey, took them in the cell room and, according to custom, locked them in.

When they were ready to get out, the turnkey found that his big key had broken off in the lock.

For hours local locksmiths tried to release the unwilling prisoners, but their skill was unequal to the resistance of the clogged mechanism.

At night Inspector Palmer passed their suppers between the bars. In the morning the inspector was finally able to contact the city’s most expert locksmith and have him open the door; the locksmith had been out dancing and having a jollification the previous night and was unreachable during the initial crisis.

Jack Mondieu carouses with local experts and consequently sniffs out stories.

Following Pazzo Pestana’s sudden resignation from the helm of the New Toulouse parish police, today Mayor Godenot appointed John Palmer to the post. When asked for a remark about his promotion, Inspector Palmer replied, “Go about your own business—nothing to see here.”

The mayor’s office had no comment on either the resignation or the appointment. The watering holes of New Tou are abuzz with speculation as to why Pestana left his post so abruptly. He could not be reached for comment, as he was out of town attending to some horse trading business.

Palmer, known to many in town as “Pappy,” had been a police officer in Florida before moving to New Toulouse. He worked for his cousin Blake Palmer (this year’s king of Carnival) in various capacities and started his own catering service before joining the police force. He is often seen in the company of Constable Bruno Erdferkel.

Gigi Lapin lives in New Toulouse Bayou with her pet crawfish, Jimbo.