New Toulouse

Following a sharp rise in reports of local hauntings, a fresh survey of ghostly activity is taking place in New Toulouse Parish.

The Spectral Activity Survey will continue through December 5, so be on the lookout for any haints, spooks, wraiths, phantoms, specters, poltergeists, or other apparitions. Citizens who register 20 ghosts with the Beacon Spiritualist Institute will gain access to gifts organized by the Taloo Boosters Society.

“The ghosts of this parish, among them the oldest inhabitants of the area, have for too long been without a voice,” said Richard Mains, a recently deceased candidate for New Toulouse mayor. “Since many ghosts are housebound, we call upon the living to find us and tell our stories.”

The most recent survey of this type was undertaken in November 1914, when 2,720 spirits were reported in this parish.

To get started finding ghosts, visit the Beacon Spiritualist Institute at 23 Nightingale Street, New Toulouse, and pick up your “Ghost Hunter’s Kit.”

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Jack Mondieu, Ace Reporter, is awfully fond of spirits.

For three weeks in November, parapsychologists, spiritualists, and amateur ghost hunters descended upon New Toulouse in search of ghosts for the Beacon Spiritualist Institute’s registry of Louisiana hauntings. With 2,720 ghosts reported, New Toulouse is the most haunted place in Louisiana by a considerable margin.

Liza Veliz runs a cafe across the street from the project’s headquarters. Asked if she met many out-of-town ghost hunters, she said, “So many, it was unbelievable—a real little invasion.”

Being a ghost herself, Miss Liza acted as the local “spectral liaison” for the project. Did any of the hunters try to hunt her? “Yes, several! They just hugged me and said, ‘I found a ghost!’”

Travelers from as far away as the Wastelands came looking for specters, and local business and community leaders offered rewards.

The Still House saloon saw lots of visitors as well. The tavern’s owner, Blake Palmer, says some of them ceased hunting there and commenced drinking instead. And a few decided to stay in town. “Ms. Fern Barker,” said Palmer, “came here for the ghost hunt, and now she owns the land beside my saloon.”

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Gigi Lapin lives on the bayou with her pet crawfish, Jimbo.

On Saturday afternoon, a large group of oddly dressed people descended upon New Toulouse, causing some alarm until it was determined that they were ghost hunters from foreign parts. Here is Insanity Lobotomy searching the Green-Eyed Fairy for spirits. (Photo credit: Liza Veliz.)

The one calling herself the Mutant Witch of the Wastes found many ghosts in record time and was the first of the group back at hunt headquarters to claim her rewards. (Photo credit: Nikita Weymann.)

Many Wastelanders gathered outside the land office after hunting to rest and await their compatriots. Seen here are Aposiopesis Fullstop, who seemed to be their leader, Akiko Thursday, and the aforementioned witch. (Photo credit: Liza Veliz.)

In recent days, our fair city has seen an influx of foreign visitors, in response to the Beacon Spiritualist Institute’s call for ghost hunters. The society is cataloging ghost sightings and legends from all over the state. As reported by my colleague Jack Mondieu, several New Toulouse business and community leaders have volunteered to offer rewards as an incentive to ensure that our local ghosts are well represented. Intrigued by some of the stories I was hearing from the hunt headquarters, I set out to get more information about these rewards.

Jack was out of the office, but even the most intrepid of reporters is not foolish enough to hunt ghosts alone, so I enlisted the aid of my neighbor, Ms. Kristine Jinx-Kristan. Armed with lanterns and notepads, we followed the trail of the ghost hunters and learned quite a bit about our local haunts. For those who may still be in the process of hunting, I won’t spoil those stories here.

Suffice it to say, we made it back to headquarters minus our shoes, plus a few gray hairs and a case of the creeps. But that’s when things got weird.

After we returned to headquarters with sufficient proof that we had visited plenty of haunted sites in town, we were given an armload of boxes and vouchers for various services, and instructed very mysteriously not to open anything at headquarters.

Some of the prizes were what you would expect from local businesses sponsoring an event—clothing with logos, beautiful handcrafted curios, useful items to have around the house. We unpacked some of those in the Tattler office.

Many of the prizes were definitely geared toward the interests of the type of tourists who might come to town specifically to chase ghosts: spooky decor, eerie illustrations, and furniture and artifacts associated with haunted sites. The prize from the French Market Apothecary included a voucher for free fortune-telling, so we stopped in to see what was in store for us.

The seers told me, “Many will travel to hear you speak.” To Ms. Jinx-Kristan, they said, “Your mind is your greatest asset.” I was a little sad that I hadn’t brought Jack, because I imagine his fortune would be fascinating. We thanked the seers and went to open our last prize, which awaited us on the dock near the French Market.

It was at this point that we realized we’d forgotten the time-honored New Toulouse tradition of hazing the tourists. Really, being locals, we should have known better, but we pried open the crate anyway … and that is the story of how my neighbor and I ended up running for our lives through the market, in our socks, to get away from a gator so hungry that he’d brought his own condiments.

In summary, there were some wonderful treasures awaiting us after finishing the ghost hunt, although the best prizes were the local ghost stories themselves. If you haven’t started the tour yet, it runs until Nov. 23, and it’s definitely worth your time. Just make sure you bring a light source, an extra pair of shoes, and maybe a big stick.

Trust us.

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Jane Moreaux keeps all four eyes on New Toulouse. Kristine Jinx-Kristan owns Look What the Cat Dragged In, a secondhand store on the ground floor of Spiegel Hall.

Everyone knows Louisiana has plenty of ghosts, but a society in Lafayette is out to count them. The Beacon Spiritualist Institute is building a repository of ghost sightings and stories from all over the state.

“Let’s make sure the ghosts of New Toulouse are well represented,” said Miss Yvonne Follet, who is coordinating the local effort, based in the parish land office, where she works as assistant to Mayor Godenot.

Miss Liza Veliz added, “I hope every ghost is treated with respect, by the people who now share their homes and by the visitors seeking their stories.” Being a ghost herself, Miss Veliz has been appointed spectral liaison for the project.

Several local businesses and community members are offering rewards for participation. If you would like to help find ghosts and gather their stories, go to the land office to obtain a ghost hunter’s kit. The Haunted New Toulouse project runs from November 1 to 22.

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Jack Mondieu knows spirits.

Meeting with Miss Galatea Monday at the Haunted Jellyfish for a séance and photo shoot, I confessed to being a little worried. “Aww, no need. I will protect you from anything scary,” said she, smiling. “The spirits are our friends.” As she got me settled in the studio, she said I was pretty, so I figured we were off to a pretty good start.

That’s when the ghost appeared.

I was pretty sure I’d never met a bunnyfish, but her face was familiar somehow. Miss Gala said the bunnyfish ghost was humming a tune. It was all pretty weird, but I wasn’t scared.

“This bunny says that she may know where your lost keys are,” said Miss Gala. “Did you lose keys recently?” I told her I’d lost an entire building—the Tattler building, which had been replaced by a hospital without anyone telling me. Miss Gala told me that the bunnyfish ghost, who is apparently my spirit guardian, said that the Tattler would be found where I least expected it. (Which turned out to be true—the newspaper has moved into the old Montgolfier Building, where the doctor’s clinic used to be, just a few steps down Rossignol from the Jellyfish.)

“Maybe it’s at the bottom of the river,” I joked.

Miss Gala said, “No, but she says some things certainly are.”

As a child, she was chasing a frog but fell down a well and hit her head, and ever since then, spirits have been talking to her. “The spirit world has become a place of comfort for so many. But they’re bored. So, one just has to have some patience and a good connection, and they seem more than willing to come and play!”

I had some questions for my spirit guardian, and what I heard about my ailing crawfish Jimbo shocked me. According to Miss Gala, everyone has a spirit guardian. If you haven’t yet met yours, consider paying her a visit.

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Gigi Lapin resides in New Toulouse Bayou with her pet crawfish, Jimbo, who is absolutely not to be given any bourbon.

Today we present another installment of “Hot Spots,” our guide to musical venues in and around New Toulouse.

Dafthouse Brewery

Dafthouse Brewery is a colossal building not far from New Toulouse’s cemetery. Perhaps that explains why Dafthouse is the favorite haunt of a ghost, according to co-owners Miss Crumbles Idlemind and Miss Jeaniesing Trilling.

“Dafthouse is a defunct brewery. The lore tells us it was in trouble after a series of deaths chased workers away who believed that it was haunted, and it was finally abandoned after the very suspicious death of Monsieur Daft, its owner,” Miss Trilling explained as a slight chill in the air became quite apparent.

According to rumor, a malicious spirit roams the building and was the cause of the horrible events leading to its closing. But Miss Idlemind and Miss Trilling are determined to light the old brewery with warmth, laughter, music, and friendship.

Dafthouse Brewery has been in business for about three years. It first began in two ill-fated regions that sank back into the murky waters of the bayou, and now it is firmly established in the city of New Toulouse.

Live music is prominent at Dafthouse. “Our regular artist, VooDoo Shilton, plays a lot of jazz classics, and lingers in the realm of bossa nova, for our listening pleasure,” said Miss Jeanie. “Another artist, TJ Oanomochi, stops in to sing when she isn’t on tour with her RL work as a professional singer. She sings a fair amount of jazz but doesn’t limit herself and nods appreciation to good music of any genre. Our other guest artists of the past nine months most often play acoustic covers of classics, pop, and folk music.”

But more than music happens at the brewery. “Dafthouse has a haunting—with a voodoo charm, offered at limited times. You can chase the ghost around Dafthouse and hear her story,” Miss Jeanie said. “The main room’s second story is our dedicated art walk. We host a rotation of artists’ work that can be viewed and purchased there. We also have occasional activities such as poetry readings and reader’s theater.”

She added, “Dafthouse would love to start up an open mic!” Taloosters of all levels of talent who would be willing to take the stage for a moment should contact Miss Jeaniesing Trilling.

When asked whether a real-life club inspired the artful and enterprising duo of Trilling and Idlemind, Miss Jeanie explained, “The other way, perhaps! Crumbles Idlemind has a RL venture that is modeled, in part, after Dafthouse. She began a cooperative gallery near her RL home that boasts some of the fun bits of Dafthouse’s activities in a RL setting.”

And what does the future hold in store for Dafthouse Brewery?

“Crumbles and I are both RL busy at times,” said Miss Jeanie, “so we enjoy running a low-key sort of place that doesn’t demand constant hands-on. We hope to remain in New Toulouse, providing occasional diversions for friends and neighbors.”

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Habana Jazz is a resident of New Toulouse and calls his mother every week.