New Toulouse

Fellow-citizens,

I want to take a plank from the platform of my worthy opponent, Mr. Jack Mondieu. Mr. Mondieu has claimed that if elected, he will lower your rent and taxes. That is a wonderful sentiment, but meaningless when it comes from a man whose party platform demands the destruction of the sun. But it is a fine idea, and I will offer the same promise. If elected as mayor, I will clean up the government, reduce expenses, and reduce your rent and taxes. I know that I can do this, because I know that I can remove the waste in the city budget.

Richard Mains
Citizen’s Party candidate for mayor of New Toulouse