Bits and Pieces

by Nikita Weymann on October 23rd, 2016

A New York jury lately gave a girl damages in the amount of L$250 for a stolen kiss. In this practical age, when romance must defer to business, burglarious osculation at such rates must become automatically prohibitive.

What, by the way, has become of the old-fashioned man who made balloon ascensions?

A swan sings just once before he croaks, but Charley Murphy seems to have had his swan song made into a graphophone record.

While a stabilizer for aeroplanes is no doubt a good thing, what we really need in this country is an automobile that won’t turn turtle.

The supreme moment of satisfaction in a woman’s life is attained when she takes her corset off.

One-armed golfers can get away with it, but not one-armed fishermen, who need both arms to show how long that six-inch catfish was.

Train up a child in the way he should go and it’s doughnuts to fudge he’ll take a flyer in the opposite direction.

The nerviest man we have ever known is our butcher who raised the price of sausage because the higher price of wheat increased the cost of the stale bread he used to mix with the pork.

When a married man disappears his relatives drag the river. But the detectives look for his “lady friend.”

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