Ask Miss Gala

by Nikita Weymann on June 9th, 2015

AskMissGala
Galatea Monday resides corporeally in New Toulouse Bayou with her bulldog Al Capone, loads of books, and a few spirits. She also owns and operates the Haunted Jellyfish, New Toulouse’s premiere ghost gallery and studio.

Send your questions to Miss Gala by mailing or dropping a note into the mailbox at our headquarters.

Dear Miss Gala,

I enjoyed the Missing Marbles hunt very much, and I won all of the prizes. My favorite is the pig in mud. However, she talks! And that would be okay, but she’s trying to make friends with my neighbor, who scares me. What should I do?

Signed,
Marbles Hunter

Dear Marbles,

It’s been my experience that pigs are excellent judges of character. So why not join in and get to know your neighbor? Carry some zombie mace just to be safe.

Chaleureusement,
Miss Gala


Dear Miss Gala,

I’ve just begun a new career in a local office. I’ve never worked outside of my home before, so I am hoping you can give me a few tips to have a successful go as a new secretary and co-worker. I so desperately want to do a good job!

Thank you,
Excited in New Toulouse

Dear Excited,

Congratulations! As a secretary, you’ll be in a unique position to meet a lot of new people coming and going from whatever office it is you’re in. Some points to note will always come back to simple, considerate civility. For example, whenever a superior walks up to your desk, be sure to stand. This little gesture will be noted and no doubt appreciated. Whenever someone is on the phone, cease typing. If you can hear them, they can hear you. Never take a seat unless expressly offered, and finally, refrain from gossip and politics. It’s a good habit to never say anything about someone that you would not say in their presence. As far as politics, they can often get in the way of governance, so always consider what is best for the firm, not for the political climate, when making a decision.

You may want to bring some tasty baked goods on your first day, as a warm hello to everyone.

Bonne chance!
Miss Gala


Dear Miss Gala,

What do you feed a pig?

Vexed,
A friendly neighbor

Dear Friendly,

Pretty much anything she’ll eat!

Chaleureusement,
Miss Gala


Dear Miss Gala,

How on earth do I get rid of those salt cellars??

Signed,
Panicked on the Bayou

Dear Panicked,

The way to tone up the back of your upper arms is to get yourself down to Miss Liza’s reading cafe, buy a couple of books, and then make sure you’re holding one in each hand as you lift them over your head, bend your elbows back at a 90-degree angle, and back up again. Do this until the muscle gets fatigued each day, and while you rest the muscle, why not read a bit from your new books and work a different muscle?

Chaleureusement,
Miss Gala

Comments are closed.